Punctuation wrangler and orthographic enforcer, feminist, atheist, glutton, geek, scatterbrain, and Seattlite.
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  • Talk to dolphins? BAD IDEA

    Thursday, February 17, 2011

    Science is bringing us closer to talking with dolphins:

    “We thought, ‘This is fascinating, let’s see if we can take it further,’” Herzing said. “Many studies communicate with dolphins, especially in captivity, using fish as a reward. But it’s rare to ask dolphins to communicate with us.”

    Now is a good time to look back on Miriam Goldstein‘s (now of Deep Sea News“The Dark Secrets That Dolphins Don’t Want You to Know” from May 2009, just so we know what kind of monsters we’re dealing with here:

    Dolphins are not gentle or psychic. If they could talk they would not impart eco-wisdom or deep spiritual truth. Dolphins are violent predators with a predilection for baby killing and rape. I feel it’s my duty to warn you, despite the risk of insulting creatures made of hundreds of pounds of muscle and rows of sharp teeth. Throw out your rainbow dolphin painting, and check out dolphins’ low-down dirty secrets:

    Read the article to find out! She’s also listed further reading on her blog.

    This is your warning, folks. If you get on a bus and see a pod of dolphins, steer clear! Go find a shark and tell it you need a chaperone. If a dolphin knocks at your door and asks if your parents are home, say “yes they are in the shower.”

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